girl staring in fire

Dear Mother

Dear Mother,   I hate cooking. I. HATE. COOKING. You know it never came naturally to me. I’ve always had to write down your recipes because I never really understood the entire concept of cooking. At first, I worried that maybe there was something wrong with me, I mean, every ‘normal’ girl should know how […]

Ije enu

Ije Enu

Okwukogu was a perennially restless man. His job made him restless. He hardly had time alone to himself at the office. Despite being the boss, he felt he was not in control, and everyone was plotting against him. His car made him restless. There was not a week that passed that the damned chunk of […]

GBI Network

Disclaimer: the tale you are about to read is not entirely fiction. Keep your internet browser close by, you might need to verify. “Oloshi!” You ignore the conductor and walk right on, a crisp fifty naira note in your hand, crisper than the one you had just now refused to take from him. He curses […]

angel on cloud

Roses and Angels

The room is chilly and quiet, so quiet that the tick-tock of the golden vintage clock resonates. Unlike the other times, you are not entranced by the tasteful furnishings this place. It is tagged first-class, this room in which you have lodged four or five times now. Johnny always tells you how lucky you are. […]

OMO, SEE GOBE!

On the matter of this broadcast joke – which is apparently stale to everyone but me – omo, see gobe oh! Kai! First check it out godu…   If you want to marry my daughter FILL THE FORM IN YOUR OWN HAND WRITING AND IN BLOCK LETTERS. I ___________________ ____________________ __________________, hereby apply to marry […]

UNFORGIVEN IX

…continued from UNFORGIVEN VIII She told how she’d met Charles, in a night club on the day she turned twenty-two. Her ‘friends’ had taken her out to celebrate and she and Charles had hit it off almost instantly. He had been wearing his wedding ring that night, which was unusual and yet that was what […]

I paid my offering to a taxi driver

“Praise da lord somebody”, Pastor Tutu’s effervescent voice wafted from the speakers, travelled through the congregation and landed on sleepy ears. The following hallelujah was cold and drab. The Super Eagles will play in an hour; they will not win, but we will do our bit as patriotic citizens by watching even as their performance […]

UNFORGIVEN VI

…continued from Unforgiven V “Some men talk about their wives whenever they are with their mistresses. But…not you. Why?” “I didn’t think my mistress would want to know my wife. Why do you want to know?” “Because I want to know. Why don’t you talk about the Missus?” “Well babes; I’ve long since learned not […]