Dear 6-month old me


Dear 6-month old me,

Ezinma Ukairo - Dear 6-month old me

You look rather chubby today; probably because I have been rubbing my eyes lately. Something is in my eye again. The right one itches all the time. I might get an infection if I don’t stop soon.

But I’m not writing to talk about my eye. I have some questions for you.

You don’t know it but it’s 2015. Yep! You turned 20 months ago. It’s an age I know you really looked forward to. You must have felt you’d be sure of everything by now – what you want and don’t want. But I am sorry, because things haven’t panned out the way you expected.

Okay that’s a lie. You are where 9-year old us wanted to be – third year law student who is taking French classes to fulfill what 14-year old us came up with. You made plans when you learnt what plans were. You had dreams as soon as you could. At each stage, my darling, you came one step closer to fulfilling what you want. So thank you! Thank you for being you.

I am sometimes confused. But most days are better than the rest. It usually helps when I make a list – oral or written – of things to do. I equally question life. Always. I wonder, ‘what is the end to all these?’ It is not all rosy, you see. But I remind myself and I want you to also remember that “you have a purpose and that is the end to all these”. Nope, I’m not telling you the purpose, you figure it out.

Losing weight is the rage now. It is crazy considering we have always been big. Almost everyone who can afford it is wearing a corset. I have tried dieting, I even checked out a gym the other day; I think I am just not motivated enough. I’ll just eat healthy and work out. It would be suicidal for me to regiment my meals now; we like food, the healthy kind of course. Lol, do you know the meaning of suicidal? Well, it means when someone feels like ending his or life. Why would someone want that? I know, right?! Life is so beautiful ish. Well my darling, people do. But do not be perturbed (don’t worry, I will explain all the big words at the end) because I’m not suicidal … yet. Trust me, it is fun being you.

So before I ask my questions, let me tell you a little bit about 20-year old you – us. Sweetheart, you are tall, beautiful, smart and intelligent. Girl, are you wonderful at speeches! You are gap-toothed though; you didn’t like it the first time you noticed. But your smile is beautiful. People ooh and aah every time you smile. Hehehe, okay, I’m exaggerating … a bit.

You still walk like a soldier; don’t even think of learning to walk ‘girly’, it’s sooooo sloooow. Errrr … I don’t know if it is alright to tell you about our love life, you are just 6 months old ba? Shaa, I shall tell you anyways, so that as you grow you can try to make some things right.

You have dated some, and no you haven’t been overtly free with your emotions but you could have been more careful. Just remember that you should not date until you are ready to say “I do” in charge of your emotions. Please, only get into a relationship with a man (please, man not boy) when you are sure of what you expect both from him and from yourself. When you are everything Beyonce described in her song “Grown Woman”, then you can date. Be a big girl, know what you want. Wait until you are a strong lady with clear-cut principles on life, politics and love. Note that love came last.

When you get to 20, you will have a best friend who will mean the world to you. Do not lose her! She is amazing. How would you know her? Well, she is a year and three months younger than you, and she looks like a cute rat. Which reminds me, try very hard to convince Dad to let you live off-campus; the rats in this hostel are simply devilish. Devilish I tell you!

Now my questions … actually, just one question: What’s the weather like today?

With love,
20-year old us.

P.S. The 20-year old you got this letter when she was six months. I am simply doing the same thing for you. Remember to continue the tradition.

So, big words and their meanings:
Perturbed = worried
Lol = Laugh out loud; it is a cool way to show you are laughing while texting.
Ooh and aah = sounds people use when they are amazed
Amazed = errr, when people are just thrilled about something
Thrilled = errr….???
Nne ehn, you know what? You will learn English Language in nursery school, so don’t worry.

By Ezinma Ukairo

18 replies added

    • Ezinma August 12, 2015 Reply

      Lol, thank you Debbie. Thank you very much.

  1. Okonkwor Oyor August 12, 2015 Reply

    Life is usually more beautiful in retrospect 😃

    • Chisom August 12, 2015 Reply

      Is it? Why does that sound sad to me?

  2. Chisom August 12, 2015 Reply

    This gehs sef … you pipu can know how to be feeling yasef ehn! lol. You are spot on … on the latter part though, I don’t know so much about this ‘best friend’ 😉 And you had to bring up ‘ogbono men’ again! hahaha

    • Chisom August 12, 2015 Reply

      While claiming no knowledge of what the term implies, I can categorically tell you that AYAM NOT OGBONO! 🙁

  3. Walt Shakes August 12, 2015 Reply

    Ayayai! This letter is so X-men Days of our Future Past. 🙂

    • Chisom August 12, 2015 Reply

      Hahaha … Straight Outta X-men, yes? At least this one did not come from mummy-water

  4. Fifi August 12, 2015 Reply

    Cute. Off to write my own letter. But wait o, which self will I write it to?
    I’ll come back when I’m certain.
    Nicely written Ezinma.

    • Chisom August 12, 2015 Reply

      You sef, Fifs, you too dey run. Shaa we’re waiting for you and your

  5. Jewdy August 12, 2015 Reply

    Hahaha.. cute! I really shoulda gotten this kinda letter (esp d love life part) #lipssealed #winks. Nice 1 Zinma.. #kudos

    • Chisom August 12, 2015 Reply

      The love life part, ehn kwa?. See campaign for teaching babies bad bad things

  6. 三思而行 August 12, 2015 Reply

    Dear 6month old baby, later on in life, a certain young boy will fracture his fingers trying to play you a perfect harmony .. when you meet this young-boy or when the young-boy meets you, please cut him some skacks and walk by ..Thanks

    • Chisom August 12, 2015 Reply

      Hmmm … where she dey abeg? Ezinma!

    • Ezinma August 12, 2015 Reply

      Lol, if only he would play it to my hearing. I would walk by and probably, if he keeps playing, stay. Stay and dance with/for him.

  7. Nmeri August 13, 2015 Reply

    Ezinma, Ur insight to life, priceless.

  8. Phoenix August 13, 2015 Reply

    Dear 6-month old me, at some point, it wld seem like nobody cares anymore, yet it isnt enuf reason for you to be hostile. It only means dat u’re grown and u’re expected to stand up on you feets. Wish i hv more to tell u, still dont know much yet. Nice work Zinny.

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