Winie Says…Forming

Fake-black-people

My people, it was another beautiful day, I was discussing with an acquaintance, when he mentioned that he uses fork to eat eba, because it gets messy on the hands. Just to be certain, I asked that he repeat himself, and he said it again. Messy on the hands kwa? Hian! I wasn’t quite sure of how to react to that comment but I was very sure that I hated ‘forming.’

What is ‘forming’, right? Lookatew, forming like you don’t know. (Get it?)Lol. Okay, for those who really don’t know, ‘forming’ is one of the many words invented for Nigerians, by Nigerians. It means acting like or pretending to be what/who one is not, in order to score points with another person. And you guessed it, this word is the genesis of the chaos we are seeing in this generation. You hardly meet people who are REAL.

When was the last time you met someone who was not fake at all? In fact, when was the last time YOU were real, regardless of who was watching? If it’s not the slew of foreign accents that perpetually confuses listeners as to whether it is a British, American or French accent, then it is the ones who claim all the items they use are foreign, yet they can’t pronounce ‘Irish spring soap’, or the ones who grew up in your neighbourhood who all of a sudden don’t eat eba but only do ‘noodles and vegetables’. Of all of them however, the true heroes, my real MVPs are those ones who leave Nigeria for Togo or China for 2 WEEKS and return with an accent! Heroes, I tell you. Honestly, I can’t keep up.

My question though is WHY? I am truly confused and sincerely, very concerned. When did being oneself, become unattractive? When did the forced adoption of a foreign lifestyle or culture become the bait for relationships? When did being a REAL Nigerian become something to be ashamed of? And when, oh tell me, when did eba, our ever-amazing EBA become LOCAL? On the flip side, who are the people encouraging this FIASCO? I’m curious as to why someone will prefer that quality in a person.

Honestly, I can’t answer any of these questions. I pass no judgement on anyone, but I would really love to enter their minds and understand why things are the way they are. Since, I can’t do that, I have activated an antenna for ‘formers’. Yes oh! I can sense them from across the room, and just in case you are wondering why, anybody that is not proud of being a Nigerian will not be proud to be my friend.

You see ehn, I like rolling eba with my hands. I roll it into such a perfect ball that people around me begin to dodge, anticipating I will stone them with it. And I eat the beautiful balls with hot soup (thumbs up for my nsala people). I am proud of my Nigerian accent, and my Nigerian pronunciations. As for ‘noodles and vegetables’, get behind me osiiso. Unless of course it is Indomie, with fried egg.

C’mon Nigerians, let us get real here; ours is an AMAZING culture. Our food is unique and delicious. Our clothes are breath-taking. Our languages are melodious. We as a people, are BEAUTIFUL. So why ‘form’?!

There is no such thing as an original-counterfeit; you may ‘form’ from now till tomorrow, all you will ever be is a confused Nigerian. Do you know what that looks like? Try conversing with a Yoruba man with serious H-factor and an American accent. Or talk to an Anambra lady who still mixes up her ‘L’ and ‘R’ WITH a British accent. Like: Hi was aving a ard time buying them shoes mehnn … or, herro, are you gonna lide the tlain? LWKMD.

My brother and sister, be proud of you. Love you! Maybe then, we can stop trying so hard to lose our culture or we can stop desiring people who are trying to do same. Maybe then we can stop ‘forming’.

But these are just my opinions and thoughts. Let’s hear yours. Do you like the ‘formers’? Do you find thrm more attractive than those who are said to be real? Are YOU a ‘former’? Why or Why not? Share with everyone in the Comment section below.

Until next time,

Winie says

 

 

 

KILLLZES!!!

 

 

 


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5 replies added

  1. Noreen February 27, 2016 Reply

    Winnie don’t judge. I eat eba with form even in the confines of my room. It was a habit I developed while in medical school. I couldn’t get to eat eba with my fingers after I might have stuck them in someone’s butt or VJ (even though I used gloves)….some days blood might have spilled, urine, pus or vomitus. I’m sure if we took a poll, most of you may not even be able to eat anything for days after such an experience. Soooo….

  2. Noreen February 27, 2016 Reply

    I’m proudly Nigerian (Igbo) and ora is my best soup. Regardin my previous comment, it doesn’t mean I don’t eat with my bare hands but eba, rarely…cuz there may be need to lick my fingers and I can’t do that. There are a lot of medical cases that simulate forming…I know a few people who don’t drink sachet water. Even when they don’t drink from the sachet, they react to it. They had been battlin with the reaction for a long while before they were able to narrow it down to water and then water in sachets. However, there are lots of annoying formers. As for me, I just pity them.

    • Chisom February 29, 2016 Reply

      Just reading your first comment, I doubt I can take any ‘swallow’ anytime soon. Geeez! I’ll leave this one to Winie shaa … while I go wash this imaginary urine, pus or vomitus off my hands *gags on the way, falls flat on face*
      #HowDoDoctorsDoIt

  3. Evan February 29, 2016 Reply

    There’s another side to this forming thing sha. Still on the eba example, in the confines of my house I roll to its full round glory and deal with the stuff mehn. But outside my house I find doing so extremely awkward(don’t know why). So for me, forming in this instance will entail doing something I find extremely uncomfortable so people will not accuse me of forming(hope that makes sense sha). But then isn’t that really what forming is about? Going out of your way, inconveniencing yourself in order to belong.

    • Chisom February 29, 2016 Reply

      What a twist you just brought to this, Evan! There could be certain things we do which might be popularly seen as ‘forming’; forming in that case would be conforming for the sake of not wanting to be called a ‘former’. What a twist! Up you jare 🙂

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