To Right My Wrongs is a description of pain, the kind that love gone wrong can wreak on a person. It’s a depiction of a strong conflict within the sufferer, conflict borne out of long-term suffering and a very belated realization that this love was not meant to be.
I see your lips move
But I cannot hear a thing
I look unseeingly through you
At what used to be a beauty
And I see instead
Such distorted ugliness
You reach out your hand
I shrink back
You want a hug
I am too broken to offer even that
There is also reluctance here.
Why I still pick your calls
Why I talk to you
The reluctance is understated but sure – that hesitancy that comes from the unasked question: ‘What if…’ What if he can change? What if she just needs to see some more loving from me to know that we belong together? What if I’m bailing too soon? What if this, what if that… These are those doubts that are fuelled by hope, which keeps us trapped, immobile, shuffling our feet in toxic relationships.
These relationships are everywhere, all around us. The female university undergraduate with the perpetually cheating boyfriend… The stay-at-home father with a career-driven shrew of a wife… The gay man or woman whose lover has to go home at the end of the day to his or her family… The belaboured wife whose identity has been robbed by an abusive marriage… The benevolent brother who can’t seem to say no to his train-wreck of a sibling… The teenager who keeps going back for more from the man who molested her when she was eight…
The world is full of ugly relationships, toxic dalliances… And at some point in our lives, the sufferer should be able to harness the presence of mind to quit the struggle and do it like Wolfe speaks of in his poem; one day, you should be able to look into the eyes of that person who is the source of all that inner turmoil and mine the will to right your wrongs.
To Right My Wrongs is a description of pain, struggle, and the conflicts of a heart yearning to breathe.
It is also about moving on, victory, and that deep, refreshing inhalation you take in the end before taking the first step to a beginning.
Written by Walter Uchenna Ude
Walter is an award winning Nigerian Writer, Poet and Veteran blogger. He is a lover of the written word, the faint whiff of nature, the flashing vista of movies, the warmth of companionship and the happy sound of laughter. He writes at http://www.mymindsnaps.com/.
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