Hello WAW people,
This year came charged mehnnn, I tell you. The first quarter was ‘pure’, and now the second quarter has started with all manner of promise. Rights and justice for women and the girl child are topics we remain passionate about, especially in a society that appears to care less and less everyday. We care not just because ‘they are women’, but because human rights are a fundamental right for EVERY body. And if there is one among us who is deprived of such, then we all have been deprived.
“An unjust law is no law at all” – St Augustine of Hippo
And so this month, one of our favorite femme writers takes to The Lectern with “Rape: Our Fault?”, which is both well-crafted, insightful, hair-pulling fist-itching unbelievable, and forces you to ask and answer a number of real questions. In my opinion, Ifeoma nearly outdid herself here … but when doesn’t she?
So enjoy, beautiful … enjoy, handsome … and don’t forget to post your answers and thoughts in the Comments area below. Share with your friends too because really, what shall it profit a man if he reads a WAW post like this and refuses to share?!!!!!!!!!!!
May May bring rays of light your way. You are amazing!
RAPE: OUR FAULT?
Whenever I hear or read the story of creation, I realize more and more how smart our Creator is. He created life and death, happiness and sadness, man and woman, right and wrong, and good and evil. I can simply say he created balance.
One of God’s evils however makes me wonder what exactly it balances out. This evil, is the need to violently defile a person. Some people like to call it sex without consent and others call it what it is:
A very sensitive issue it is that whenever it is brought up in an argument or a discussion, voices are raised, emotions overflow and sometimes fists fly. Whether or not you will understand the idea behind this piece will depend largely on what you understand by the word, RAPE.
Rape, according to the people who compiled dictionaries, is having sexual intercourse with a person without his or her permission. It may involve physical force or the threat of force. It may also be done against someone who is unable to give consent such as an infant, or a drugged or sleeping adult.
Well, that definition is so casual it could have been for the word “balloon”. I who always have an opinion about everything, however have a befitting definition for this evil:
Rape is a dark, twisted act of violence that I would not wish on my own enemy. If I had an enemy and wanted to hurt them physically, I’d simply slap the person and we would probably end up on the floor pulling each other’s hair or biting each other’s skin. I’d probably end up in the hospital but with satisfaction that I inflicted pain on this person. I would do all this but I wouldn’t wish for them to be raped because this evil ruins people on two levels: physically and emotionally.
And this is why I loathe people who have no sympathy for rape victims. People like Hajia Risikatu Adulkarim, a lecturer at Nassarawa Polytechnic who was interviewed on NTA Keffi early this year. This piece was inspired by a Facebook post, reproduced below:
“So this woman, Hajia Risikatu Abdulkarim, a lecturer at Nassarawa Polytechnic is being interviewed on NTA Keffi.
I listen with an open mouth as the interviewer asks if rape is the fault of women. And she replies with a yes. Says when a woman is dressed indecently or is half-naked, it’s her fault if she gets raped.
She says sometimes, the rapists would even finish raping a girl before they are aware that they raped her. So it’s not their fault.
(When I read this line, I rained all sorts of profanities at this woman, so you have a hall pass to do the same).
In the fight against violence against women, she says women should stay close to God and they won’t experience violence.
A lecturer in Nigeria says this. A woman for that matter.
What is she teaching?
Who sent me to watch NTA this evening?…”
Let me give her some credit for giving good advice to females. It’s good to be safe and to be close to God at all times because anything can happen to anyone. I for one am against indecent dressing as well because I feel that women should value their bodies because they are treasures that need to be found not picked up by the road or plucked from tree. However, if a woman chooses to wear revealing clothing as a way to conform to fashion or as her own style, I wouldn’t judge because, it’s her life not mine. She knows how she wants to be seen.
Now that we have cleared that up, I would like to ask people like Hajia Risikatu a few questions:
If you were out on the road making a phone call with your brand new iPhone 6 and it got snatched from you by a thief, who do we blame for the theft?
Do we blame you for deciding to first of all buy a flashy and expensive phone hereby suddenly attracting an innocent human who decided to become a thief all of a sudden?
Are you saying that you shouldn’t have made that phone call at all? Are you saying that you shouldn’t take the phone out in public at all?
Let’s say you decided to act with caution and you never took the phone out in public. Are you saying that a thief cannot knock on the door of your house, barge in, threaten you and steal this same phone you have been jealously guarding?
Are you also saying that it is possible that this innocent bystander walked up to you, threatened you, collected your phone and then suddenly realised, “Omg, I just stole an iPhone?”
Indian women are one of the most decent group of women in the whole world because most of the time, they are covered up right to the nose. Do you know that these women are raped as well? If you do, whose fault would it be when a woman like that is raped?
This is one of the reasons why I fear for the next generation. I wonder what knowledge would be passed down to them. How can I train my son to be a gentleman when people like this lecturer exist? How can I teach my daughter self-worth and confidence when people like Hajia Risikatu exist?
Nobody is responsible for anyone’s sin. If a person decides to rape a fellow human being, it’s on this person’s conscience.
N.O.B.O.D.Y asks for rape.
Written by Ifeoma Nduka
If you have written something which you would like read at ‘The Lectern’, send it in a mail titled ‘Submission (The Lectern) – [Topic]’ to email@example.com. If you are unsure about a subject matter, still send us an email and we shall work with you to get something appropriate. It does not have to be right or wrong … just your opinion.
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