I dunno which is worse: the heat or NEPA. Now lemme intimate you guys with my ‘heat schedule’ everyday:
7:30 P.M.: Comes back from work, PHCN takes light immediately I step into the sitting room.
7:35 P.M.: Puts on Generator.
7:40 P.M.: Makes dinner and eats.
8:30 P.M.: Showers and makes some calls while lying down begging for sleep and enjoying the fan blowing into my Adamic self.
9:00 P.M.: Eventually sleeps off.
11:00 P.M.: Security guy puts off gen and now my horror movie starts.
11:10 P.M.: Wakes up and starts complaining.
11:20 P.M.: Sweating upandan.
11:30 P.M.: Runs into the shower and sits there.
11:50 P.M.: Steps out of the shower feeling better.
11:53 P.M.: Touches my bed and realises it’s too hot.
11:53 P.M.: Lays on the floor trying to negotiate my sleep .
11:57 P.M.: Stands up to help myself with some chilled water to put body, mind and soul together.
12:00 A.M.: Gets back to the floor and realises it’s suddenly hot. Heads straight to the visitors room.
12:03 A.M.: Finds a cool section of the bed there and lies down.
12:05 A.M.: Sister Insomnia is calling my phone number.
12:10 A.M.: Bed no gree…sets myself up on the floor and puts on cool music to help.
Shuts my eyes and waits for sleep.
12:35 A.M.: Still waiting for sleep….
12:40 A.M.: Can’t stand it anymore. Heads to the shower once more.
1:15 A.M.: Steps out of the shower. Gets a facebook notification from Martin and wonders why he’s still awake. is he having same problems? Who knows?
1:20 A.M.: Surfing and waiting for sleep. (This time lying in the passage. There’s this yeye breeze coming from under the door that leads out from the kitchen).
1:40 A.M.: Somebody has just pressed the breeze pause. Kai!!! Village pipu at work.
1:45 A.M.: Remembers I have carrot and garden egg and groundnut, what prevents a brother from keeping the mouth moving?
1:46 A.M.: Sitting in the sitting room enjoying my chewables and reading up #MUFC gist on ESPN to know if they yaff sacked LVG finally. Strolls into twitter to check what is trending too.
2:20 A.M.: Eyes are getting heavy. Good sign. Thank you Lord!!! Let’s shower one more time and gear it up. (Don’t bla.m.e me, if I don’t, the eyes will only stop at being heavy)
2:35 A.M.: Out of the shower. Doesn’t stay long. Does tum bom tum bom to decide where to lie down. Anywhere it falls I lay.
2:40 A.M.: Changes my music playlist. Moves to country classics.
3:00 A.M.: Sleeps off.
5:00 A.M.: PHCN brings the light and light flashes into my eyes. Wakes up and does the waka sign to the light bulb. Rolls over and starts enjoying the fan.
5:15 A.M.: My alarm wakes me up again. Kedu udi rubbish di ihe nkea kwanu? *switches it off and thinks of the lie to drop in case I end up late at work* (traffic no doubt).
6:00 A.M.: My neighbours are driving out noisily to work and I have to wake up.
6:15 A.M.: Lazying and trying to negotiate the next round of sleep, Light goes off again. *sighs* and wakes up.
6:16 A.M.: Prayer, morning worship, brush my teeth, regular ritual in the white house, showers, breakfast, dresses up, arranges my bag , looking for my charger, etc.
7:15 A.M.: Opens the door to wear my shoe and leave. PHCN brings the light again.
Looks at the light bulb like they were humans and wishes I could slap them to express my anger.
7:18 A.M..: Leaves for work. *Don’t worry, I still get to work on or before 8:30A.M.. so we’re good* *no lying*
**Meanwhile, the light that they brought as I was leaving will still be on till I get back home and sa.m.e routine continues.
Where thunder fires my routine is if I eventually forget that the fuel in the gen is low so I can top-up. Then I just stepped into hell.
Written by Emmanuel Trust.
Words Are Work…and fun too. 🙂